The World Conspiring Against Us
When we shift blame outwards it's usually time to take a closer look at ourselves.
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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
Eldridge Cleaver
When we go to our manager or a mentor with a problem, they will always ask the same question before sharing any advice, “what have you already tried”?
Every good employee knows it’s important to bring two or three things they’ve already tried and a few more potential options when they ask their manager for help. Otherwise, you’re asking them to do the work for you.
If we tell someone else about a problem we’re dealing with, but we haven’t tried anything to fix the problem on our own we’re just complaining.
The same way we wouldn’t go to our manager before trying a few solutions on our own, we shouldn’t tell others about our problems or start to feel down on ourselves until we’ve tried a few things on our own.
No one has sympathy for someone complaining about a problem they haven’t even tried to solve, but we often complain about things because we haven’t tried to solve it yet.
It’s easy to complain about the difficulty of waking up earlier or going to the gym consistently, but we often haven’t changed anything about our habits, bedtime, or schedule to make these things easier.
If we don’t blame ourselves first for our shortcomings, we shift the blame outwards.
We begin to think we’re struggling because of our circumstances or something a coworker or our partner is doing.
When we find ourselves lashing out, blaming, or feeling sorry for ourselves it’s time to turn inward.
We should try to solve our own problems before seeking help from others or making claims that the deck is stacked against us.
Once we recognize that we’re struggling with something, not taking action to identify it, or making changes to fix it, we can turn our mood around pretty quickly.
The hard part is recognizing that we’re struggling with something in the first place.
Our inaction masquerades as the world conspiring against us.
However, we can use this feeling as a trigger to recognize our shortcomings.
Whenever we feel like the world is out to get us or someone else is holding us back, we can know that we’re not taking full responsibility for our actions and begin to reflect on where we need to make changes.
If we learn to identify and fix problems in our lives before we lob blame externally, we can fix most of the issues before they begin and save the people we care about from our whining and complaining.
Prompts
Where in your life do you try to fix problems before asking for help? Where do you ask for help before you try to fix things yourself?
What are you struggling with in your day-to-day routine? Who is responsible?
How can you create a trigger to look inward when you’re tempted to blame outward?
Deep Dive
The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership
Timeless advice distilled from some of the best leaders of the last 50 years.
Thanks for reading! I’ll see you next Sunday.
Kevin