Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.
Viktor Frankl
The phrase “that’s just my luck” should be eliminated from our vocabulary.
If we’re talking like that, then we’ve given up the agency we have to create a better life.
Bad things snowball and they feel like they’re out of our control, but the same is true of good things.
We can stub our toe and let our sour mood spiral into a fight with our spouse, emotional binge eating, and staying up too late only to continue making bad choices the next day as lack of sleep and nutrients throw our nervous system into a tailspin.
It might feel like it’s just a string of bad luck. It might feel unfair that bad things keep happening one after another. And it’s certainly easier to believe that these things are happening to us, instead of being caused by us.
For better or worse, whatever we do compounds.
Good or bad, our decisions create a snowball rolling down a hill gaining size and speed until it’s out of control.
Control the controllables
We have control over our choices but once the snowball is rolling downhill it becomes harder and harder to change its direction.
The more we start our days making the right choice (instead of the easy one), the more likely we are to create an upward spiral instead of a downward one.
When we choose to wake up early, we have time to get to the gym. After the gym, we feel great so we eat a healthy breakfast. Clean eating fuels an awesome day and the pride of our accomplishments gives us the confidence we need to start a new project we’ve been putting off for months that evening.
Choosing the right response manufactures better days which build a better life.
Our choices compound in one direction or the other. If we don’t stop to think, good days and bad days feel random or lucky, but we control how things start and which direction our snowball rolls down the hill each day.
Respond, don’t react
The key to creating more good days is learning to respond instead of react.
Whenever something happens to us there is a split second in our head between the stimulus and our reaction. The longer we can make the time in between these two things, the better off we’ll be.
Creating space between stimulus and reaction gives us time to respond instead of react. We can process what is happening, how it makes us feel, and how different responses will impact our future.
In the space we create, we can respond intentionally instead of reacting instinctually.
The power to respond to every stimulus intentionally is the power to create a meaningful and fulfilling life despite everything that’s outside of our control.
Prompts
What’s a moment in the last week where you reacted instead of responded? What would a positive response have looked like?
How can you create a bigger space between stimulus and reaction?
What would it mean for you to take more ownership of the bad things that seem to happen to you?
Deep Dive
Respond, Don’t React by Brad Stalberg
Short and sweet blog post with a strategy to respond instead of react.
Thanks for reading! I’ll see you next Sunday.
Kevin