We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal.
Robert Brault
In the pursuit of becoming a bit better each day we’re vulnerable to seeing everything as a means to an end.
Things that should be instruments to create the life we want, like wealth and status, can become the ends we’re chasing instead of the means that help us achieve worthwhile ends.
Managing the dichotomy between means and ends is like a business dinner. The end goal isn’t to eat and relax, the goal is to do business. The dinner happens to be one way to get that done, but if we focus too much on the dinner then we lose sight of our true objective.
Chasing metrics
When tools and metrics become our biggest goals, our lives become transactional and hollow.
We don’t get fulfillment from adding zeroes to our bank account. We get fulfillment from creating memorable experiences with people we care about. Adding zeroes to our bank account is a means that can help us achieve the end of creating memorable experiences but it’s nothing more.
Setting a goal time when training for a marathon is a means to keep our training focused, but running a race of an arbitrary length in an arbitrary time is not fulfilling on its own. Marathon finishers feel a fleeting sense of pride when they complete the race, but often wake up the next day wondering what to do next.
There are worthwhile pursuits and there are daily actions that help us make meaningful progress towards those pursuits.
Worthwhile pursuits are just that, pursuits. They are not goals. They are not achievable. They are things that point our energy and actions in the right direction and create a fulfilling life, but they can never be accomplished.
There are metrics and goals that support us in our worthwhile pursuits, but they are just means to a greater end.
Pursuing the worthwhile
If we design our lives around metrics and goals we’ll never feel fulfilled because we’ll always be chasing satisfaction in our next accomplishment.
If we treat our goals as a means to a greater end, we no longer search for fulfillment in metrics and accomplishments. Instead, we treat these accomplishments as a way to make meaningful progress towards our worthwhile pursuits.
This pursuit of progress and focus on something bigger than ourselves is where we can reliably derive a feeling of fulfillment and meaning in our lives.
Becoming the best is a hollow and fleeting accomplishment, but becoming better is a fulfilling and durable lifelong pursuit.
Prompts
What metrics or goals do you focus on that are means to an end?
What is the most important worthwhile pursuit in your life?
What means to an end or metrics are you most vulnerable to pursuing for their own sake instead of in support of a worthwhile pursuit?
Deep Dive
The Second Mountain by David Brooks
Argues that the first mountain in our lives (career, wealth, achievement) is often unsatisfying, and true fulfillment comes from relationships, service, and commitment.
Thanks for reading! I’ll see you next Sunday.
Kevin