Lean In
Lean In
Embracing circumstances so we can have our cake and eat it too.
Every Sunday, Prompted delivers insights and prompts designed to help readers become a bit better each day.
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Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
Allen Saunders
When we’re pursuing something worthwhile, our actions have a wonderful sense of clarity.
Certain things help us move closer to our objective, while others move us farther away.
However, the things pulling us off course are often novel and enjoyable, setting the stage for a lose-lose scenario.
If we stay disciplined, we deny ourselves unique and enjoyable experiences and we miss out. If we indulge, we feel guilty for veering off course.
With this approach, trying to become a bit better each day leaves us feeling regretful regardless of our decisions.
Doubling Down
To avoid ping-ponging between FOMO and guilt we often choose one extreme or the other.
It’s easier to double down than to deal with the consequences of opposing objectives.
Unfortunately, our most common reaction is to embrace indulgence and forgo worthwhile pursuits.
The reality is life is a lot more fun this way (in the short term), but we know it’s not a sustainable or rewarding way to approach our lives.
The alternative is doubling down on discipline.
We can choose to focus only on worthwhile pursuits and learn to remove or ignore anything that gets in the way.
This approach is difficult and requires changing our lifestyle, our environment, and who we spend time with.
It’s remarkably effective if our only aim in life is to accomplish specific objectives, but it requires we sacrifice many of the joys and indulgences that life has to offer.
To become a bit better each day AND enjoy all of the pleasures of life, we can’t focus on one extreme or the other.
Doubling down is a simple solution to a complex problem.
Embracing the Moment
The complexity of balancing worthwhile pursuits with the pleasures of life requires a nuanced approach.
We can control our immediate environment and create the conditions that will allow us to make meaningful progress toward worthwhile pursuits.
It’s the temptations and joys that we can’t control which create the problems.
Unfortunately, what gives us the most pleasure detracts from what’s most fulfilling.
Doubling down on what’s most fulfilling at the expense of short-term pleasures is a simple but ineffective solution to combat competing desires.
Learning to occasionally lean into indulgent circumstances is nuanced and complex, but it lets us have our cake and eat it too.
When we find ourselves in a position to enjoy the pleasures of life, we should embrace it instead of resisting it.
We shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying dessert or a night out with friends even if it comes at the expense of progress toward other worthwhile pursuits.
We shouldn’t challenge ourselves to avoid the things we love, but rather challenge ourselves to balance indulgence with progress toward worthwhile pursuits.
Prompts
Where do you fall on the spectrum of pursuing indulgence or discipline?
Have you sufficiently removed temptations from your immediate environment?
What are upcoming events or environments you’d like to lean into more deeply?
Deep Dive
Wherever You Go, There You Are - Jon Kabat-Zinn
Exploring the practice of mindfulness and living in the moment.
Thanks for reading! I’ll see you next Sunday.
Kevin