Some ideas need a bit more space to…

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Welcome to another edition of Diving Deeper. Today we’re jumping into the deep end of Balance. An idea that seems simple but turns out to be rather complex. I’m very curious to hear your…

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Every so often, I come across an idea that requires more thought and explanation than I can fit into a typical Sunday Edition of Prompted, so I created a new section of the newsletter called Diving Deeper for longer posts about big ideas.

As a premium subscriber, you get exclusive access to Diving Deeper. You can expect an essay like this from me on the first Wednesday of each month. Even though the post is a bit longer, my goal remains the same: to share a new idea or perspective and prompts that you can use to apply the idea to your own life to help you become a bit better each day.

Every idea is filled with nuance, so I’d love to hear what you think in the comments. I think we can all learn from each other, and my hope is we can collaborate and expand on ideas together.

With that all said, let’s dive deeper ;)

Kevin

Using Polarization to Enhance Our Quality of Life

Planes travel at 500 mph. Yet once we’re cruising along, we can get up and walk around the cabin without a problem. The Earth spins more than 1,000 mph, but we walk around all day without any trouble.

Humans only notice acceleration. When speed is constant, acceleration is 0. Planes and The Earth move at a constant speed, so we adapt without even noticing. When a plane takes off, however, our senses are on high alert and we’re aware of how fast we’re moving because we’re accelerating.

To recognize and appreciate what is happening to us, it needs to be changing. The longer something remains constant the more we become blind to it. We need struggle to feel accomplishment, triumph to feel disappointment, pain to feel pleasure, pride to feel embarrassment, sadness to feel happiness, and frustration to feel gratitude.

We have a tendency to revert to homeostasis. We avoid the extremes because they’re uncomfortable, and without careful observation, we settle into a constant speed that we hardly notice.

Without polarization of experience, it’s hard to perceive our performance and our feelings because we have nothing to compare them to. Everything blends together.

Every once and a while, there is a milestone like the beginning of a new month or year and we marvel at how the time has flown by. It feels like it’s moving quickly because each day and week is more or less the same. There is no juxtaposition to shock us out of the status quo and bring attention, focus, and intention to what we’re doing.

Intentional Juxtaposition Creates a Better Life

Creating juxtaposition and introducing acceleration or deceleration into our lives improves how we feel and how we perform.

If we fall into a constant rhythm of relaxing and enjoying ourselves, eventually, the pleasure falls away. Not to mention, worthwhile pursuits require hard work and we can’t accomplish much choosing the path of least resistance as our normal course of action.

Falling into a constant state of hard work and sacrifice is just as troubling. We may make progress on certain pursuits but at a high cost. Slowly the work becomes meaningless because we’re not able to enjoy the fruits of our labor, and we quickly move on to the next project after each accomplishment.

Relaxing is more enjoyable when we know the work is done, and working hard is easier when we know there is light at the end of the tunnel.

A vacation is relaxing and refreshing because it’s contrary to our normal commitment to our work and the responsibilities of daily life. Hard workouts are rewarding because the difficulty of each session is contrary to the relative ease of the rest of our day.

A polarized combination of hard work and enjoyment improves the quality of our lives and increases our level of output, but only if it’s done intentionally.

Everything in Moderation is Not Good Enough

A vacation is great, but a vacation interspersed with a few hours of work every day almost isn’t worth it.

Training for a marathon is gratifying, but training for a marathon and eating a cheeseburger and a milkshake every day is futile.

There’s a balanced level of polarization in each of the examples above, and yet, they feel supremely disappointing. Approaching everything with moderation is not enough for us to reap the benefits of true polarization. Haphazard contrast confuses us because we’re constantly switching back and forth between extremes.

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I subscribed to tons of newsletters that were full of interesting ideas, but as I read them, the ideas would go in one ear and out the other. Eventually, I searched for a newsletter that delivered interesting ideas and journal prompts to help me think deeper, but I couldn’t find anything.

So I decided to create Prompted for myself.

From the time I had the idea to the time I sent out the first edition was only a few hours. Had I not taken action immediately, this newsletter wouldn’t exist. With such an abrupt start, I didn’t have much time to think about Prompted or what it would become, but 52 newsletters and 156 prompts later, I’ve had time to reflect on what’s become the mantra of the publication: Becoming a bit better each day.

I’ve come to realize that in the pursuit of becoming a bit better each day, “success” is different for everyone, there is no linear path to self-improvement, and the only thing we can rely on is doing the work.

Success is different for everyone

Humans are unbelievably complex and diverse. Trying to make generalizations or assumptions about large groups of people is futile because everyone's ideas about success are different.

For some, success means money; to others, it means time; and to some, it means freedom. Based on our experiences and surroundings, we create our own version of what success looks likes, but there are two common threads between us all.

The first is that we’re all pursuing something. Even though everyone is chasing something totally different, we’re all trying to push ourselves forward in one way or the other. The tendency to try and improve ourselves is part of being human.

Even though we have unique ideas of what success looks like for ourselves, we’re all pursuing something, and seeing people who are world-class at what they do creates new benchmarks of success for ourselves and inspires us to push past artificial boundaries our minds create.

The other common thread amongst us all is the way we achieve our version of success. Despite the end states varying so drastically, when we zoom out, we can see that durable success comes from years of consistent efforts toward worthwhile pursuits.

Any meaningful level of success, regardless of the arena, has a trail of intentional hard work and focus behind it. Even though we’re all climbing up our own mountains, the path to the top requires the same consistent effort, one foot after the other, day after day, to continue moving forward.

There is no linear path to self-improvement

Another common thread among us all is to search for the path of least resistance. We do it both consciously and unconsciously because it’s been in our best interest for hundreds of thousands of years to expend as little energy as possible.

As modern technology has evolved, we’re now able to move through life expending almost no energy. In fact, if we want to, we can live our entire lives without ever leaving our house. We can work from home, and everything we could possibly need, from groceries and take-out to prescriptions and doctors, can show up on our doorstep after a few clicks.

Now more than ever, the path of least resistance tempts us in everything we do, but if we’re pursuing something worthwhile, any path that moves us closer to our goal will be riddled with resistance.

There is no easy way to create art, build a meaningful business, deepen relationships with others, or make significant progress on difficult problems without expending a tremendous amount of effort.

We can pay someone to deliver beet chips and ice cream, but we can’t circumvent the work that comes with trying to become a bit better each day.

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Occasionally I stumble onto an idea or experience that warrants more investigation than Prompted’s typical format allows for. These ideas tend to start out as short reflections but quickly morph into long-form essays dissecting ideas and laying out frameworks or concepts. The essay below grew out of an experience I had a few weeks ago that seemed too powerful not to share.

Because Prompted is a reader-supported publication, longer-form content like this essay and the Bite-Sized Prompts I share throughout the week are for Prompted’s Premium subscribers. Each week I invest 10+ hours creating and sharing Prompted with the goal of helping readers become a bit better each day, and I couldn’t be more grateful for your support, time, and attention.

If you’d like to explore Prompted Premium, you can try it free for 7 days and get full access to the essay below, the archive of premium prompts dating back to July, and other perks like an invitation to Prompted’s Journaling Collective. (Don’t worry, Prompted’s Sunday Editions will always be free to everyone).

As always, I hope Prompted helps you think a bit differently and investigate ideas further than you might on your own. Thanks for reading!

Kevin

Recognizing and Resolving Struggle

When something isn’t going our way, it affects every domain of our lives. Problems at work affect us at home and vice versa. Even the smallest frustrations, like getting cut off while driving, leak into the rest of our lives and poison how we interact with others.

One thing leads to the next, and before we know it, we’re clenching our teeth, saying something we regret. Or we’re so exhausted from stress and anxiety weighing us down that we can’t bring ourselves to do anything more than watch tv and veg out.

Half the time, we don’t even realize how frustrated, angry, or stressed we are, and when we do recognize what’s going on, we lean into the emotion and start slamming doors and honking horns to make it known.

Even minor disturbances in our mood have the power to derail an entire day and turn what could have been a good or even a great day turns into one we describe as “fine” through clenched teeth.

I recently experienced a bout of stress and anxiety that had been reoccurring for days before I recognized it and was taking a toll on my well-being. I didn’t notice what was happening until I boiled over.

After the issue reached a point where I was forced to do something about it, I blindly started trying techniques to calm myself down and get back to normal. I felt like a fish out of water, but after 15 minutes, I stumbled into resolving the issue and feeling 100 times better.

After I calmed down and got back to work, I looked back at my flailing attempts to resolve the issue and realized I moved through a distinct process. It was so powerful I feel compelled to share the framework here for identifying and resolving struggles, stress, anxiety, or anger as it arises.

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In a Finance 101 class, my professor taught me that the "existence of debt is a double-edged sword". In other words, borrowing money can magnify your returns and your losses. Debt creates leverage and amplifies the magnitude of potential outcomes.

In many ways, the pursuit of personal growth, or as I like to say "becoming a bit better each day", acts the same way. Committing to becoming the best version of yourself exaggerates both ends of the spectrum. Highs become higher and lows become lower. The highs are filled with an unbelievable sense of pride and gratitude while the lows are defined by intense self-doubt.

Either extreme can overwhelm us, but using them to balance one another unlocks a mindset that propels us forward.

Let growth turn into pride, not arrogance

Consistent efforts aimed toward a worthwhile pursuit will always yield growth. We may not notice it at first, but after a few weeks or months, it becomes apparent that we’re not who we used to be.

I’m often overwhelmed with emotion when I compare who I used to be with who I am now. Not too long ago I was obsessed with weekend plans and how I could drink more than everyone else. 3 years later, I’ve doubled my income, created a newsletter with hundreds of subscribers, and learned to care less about what others think of me.

When I think about this shift, a wave of pride rushes over me. I can’t stop smiling and I’m consumed with gratitude for the growth that I’ve experienced.

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